I hate my family life.

It seems like I tried so hard in every ways, to prevent myself from getting heartbroken from a friend named Shakdon Zanji. God knows how much I love this guy. But I kept wondering if he really2, really2, loved me. Which made me failed to see that others find that its unfair.

Thank goodness, there's no emotional outbursts or crying spells for this month's period. I feel tired and sleepy most of the time and irritated.

Testing now.
Itchy nose now.
Going for inrerview now.
Straight to Lavender now.
Listening to Blink 182 now.
Never tried nlogging through Iphone. This is the first time now.

Hello. Does this still works?

Oh. It does. Hehehehe.

All I want to be, is that someone that he can't get enough of and can't live without.

When I was 15. When I as still struggling with Geography lessons in school.
I wrote songs or lyrics to express myself.
Wrote about love, relationships that I never had, heartbreaks, being a rebel, and rejections.
I used to have big dreams for it.

At that time....

My dream was to be a songwriter for a record label company.
I remembered that I printed out a list of all the record labels here in Singapore. Identify one or a few so I can send a few of my samples.

I wrote all my songs inside all those unwanted school exercise books. There were 3 or 2 of them.
I was a loser in school. When other people happen to found and read my song books, all they did was laugh.
It was a big joke to them. But it didn't stop me.
I write and write until I was 17 or 16. Because I had to focus on my O's.

And when I got in the media school in 2006, inspirations died on me and I lost interests in song writing.
And the only way I keep myself expressed, is through blogging.
Suddenly, at that point, to write poems or songs seems awkward. Fucking awkward.
So I watched people do it in envy.
And after all that, I feel like there's no reason for me to start writing songs.
Love for film making is one thing. I just not inspired to.
So, I use words to express myself subtextly sometimes. in my blog.
Then, YOU came along with dreams to be a somebody. A musician, singer, and everything else.
You read my books and blog and use it to write for a song which you wanting to collaborate with your friends.
And you want to do a song with me. Us writing and singing together. Next thing I knew, everything seems to fall into place.
I began writing again. And, it gives me a different feel. Made me feel to be inspired again. And now, I just want to throw my ideas.

So...Thank you for that. I appreciate that.



cLa